Mr. Dad or Almost Retired?
stay at home father
This statement of fact has become a buzz phrase of late. Only a couple of years ago when I first became a dad there were only a few men staying at home with their kids. An anomaly to be sure. Why is God's name would anyone want to stay at home with the kids? A large part of the male understanding of being a man is wrapped up tightly with being a families breadwinner. Going from the head of household to the "Woman" can be a bit difficult. As men, our egos need stroking and you certainly don't get that when you're wiping a baby's dirty ass. Except, right now, Stay at Home Father's are In Vogue to be sure. Their doing the talk show circuit, writing books, and making websites devoted to this fab new idea in alternative families.
When Andrea, my wife, and I decided to make this change in our family arrangement we weren't going out of our way to be part of the in crowd. For us, it seemed to make more sense than going the conventional route. She had a career she loved, and I was starting a new career that allowed me to be at home. The only other alternative was for him to go into day care. Even if it wasn't extremely expensive it ultimately wasn't the way we wanted to raise our child. He is our responsibility. We shouldn't pay someone else to take care of the day to day raising of our kid. Spending weekends and an hour or two in the evening on weeknight actually doing hands on parenting, doesn't sound right for us. Thus, I became Mister Dad.
This what I like to call myself, Mister Dad. Sounds better than all of the other alternatives running rampant in the media. Mister Mom gained national credence when Michael Keaton lost his job and stayed at home with his kids doing battle with the vacuum and his sanity. No offence to all the mothers who are at home, but I'm no woman. I may stay at home, and take on many of the responsibilities we men have expected of our women for generations, but I'm not a woman. If a woman can do the job of a man in the work world and be afforded respect, then a man should be able to do the same in what has been a woman's world.
Recently, there are a bunch of idiots who call themselves Stay at home Dad's, or SAHD for short. While I agree I'm a stay at home Dad, I'm not SAD. We don't need a title. Or a special badge. All I'd like to see is a little respect. Being a parent isn't easy, staying at home alone all day with kids isn't easy, and it doesn't much matter if your a woman or man. Neither of the sexes get a rule book or a manual on being a good parent. I like to think it comes from hard work, determination, and lots of patience.
